play this video as you read the following post. just adds to the feel. lol.

time check: 7.03am
day check: 2nd September 2009

sleep seems to be a foreign word to my system. i had a mini nap from 4am to 4.30am. and i've been sleepless the whole night. starting to feel a little hideous with the dark eye rings and red eyes. but even with the lack of sleep, my eyes are bulging out of their sockets. partly due to the bony facial features that my face has adopted. in due time i should look like achmed the skeleton.

time check 7.08am. and rafie's 'pixelated love' is playing on facebook. it has a mariah carey feel to it. lol. but more evidently, it has the feel of being in love. i think i forgot what that feels like. lol. thumbs up to all the new tracks and couples. lol. i hope your tracks make it to the radio too cause i hear the same old garbage everyday. richard if you happen to read this, help me send my album to 987fm. thanks bro.

pretty much hopeless in the job department too. somehow i don't fit in certain requirements. i feel handicapped. damn screw my parents for not sending me for chinese classes when i was younger. now i'm failing to meet the pre requisites of certain jobs like needing to know Mandarin to work in That CD Shop. damn have you guys seen the store full collection of chinese cds? awesome collection. and the crowd there, they so need to be catered. it's a pity they don't really understand english.

my habits and attitude have been hard to understand or decipher. to those whom i've hurt or offended with this persona of mine, sorry about it. and thanks for putting up with it. lol. the junk. the late night 'under block smoke til you die' sessions. the therapy. the on and on about my past.

i think i'm starting to feel like a creep. so much so that i feel the song by radiohead was intended for me. not even karma police can suppress my emotions. feeling down is the new up i guess. jigsaw falling into place, have missing pieces now. i want you to plant the last flowers with me, but you keep climbing up on the ladder. i wish to go to sleep, sail to the moon. my life is in a glass house. where i end and where you begin. i might be wrong, but a wolf at the door kinda fucked up my life. i need an instruction manual on 'how to disappear completely'. will everything fall in its right place then? i've tried to be optimistic, but i'm dwelling in limbo. i used to be family, now i'm the tourist. i'm becoming a paranoid android, i need an airbag every second of my life. at least you're lucky, i'm a let down. no suprises though. i'm high and dry. maybe it was all just a nice dream. bulletproof...i wish, i was. but i'm not so if you do shoot, i'll still die. my iron lung all blacked out with the intoxicating fumes of every puff. it's all dark, i wish for permanent daylight. i keep repeating myself like a punchdrunk lovesick singalong til i'm having sore throat. i need a lozenge of love. so i'm still thinking about you. do you? thank you radiohead.

i'm a creep.
i'm a weirdo.
what the hell am i doing here.
i don't belong here.